RedAsh's Blog

Mum, its been a long time since I state my emotions to you...

Its been a bad day for me yesterday... really bad...

I been dutifully carrying out my mission but due to one of my man, Hafiz, not checking the items properly, I am now on the chopping board...

Hafiz is new but this is not his first day. He been taught the items to check. So while I am checking the equipments with Vierra, he was off on his own doing his own checking. As we are to do an exercise in the morning, I focus on the key equipments.

This is on top of the disruption that is introduced by my superiors who asked for me to halt my inspection, resulting in loss time, in already a cramped time situation.

I trust Hafiz to do a proper job but he "shortcutted" and skipped some of his job scope, and I got my arse whipped. He told me only much later, long pass "the golden hour", and I am dumbed enough to not report immediately. Instead I carry out my own investigation for I found out that the one handing me the vehicle is non other than Fukhan, the same batch as I do, and I regard him as a friend.

So with mix reaction, I perform a sequence of misactions that resulted to this trouble that I am in now...

I am not without fault, for the facts are as below:
1> I should have double check with my man, and ensure it myself.
2> I should have continue the check on the new exercise location.
3> I should have report the problem right away.
4> I am no time conscious enough, as in the incident no.2 below.

All in all, in fire station, to survive requires me to totally "cover my arse."

As a matter of fact, 2 incidents of "cover my arse" raised today,
1> Another new man, Arfie, requested for a quick drink in middle of a lecture, I asked him to endure, for if he to go for a drink and was caught, I will be liable for his action for I am the one who gave the green light.

~ I never think of that until that morning... somehow my senses sharpened... and guess what, on a deeper thought, I realised that he try to bastard me; for he also knew that it is liable to go drinking during lecture, so he try to "TEST" me by asking me first, hence he is "covering his own arse".

2> The superior of the other group discovered a common problem that is shared by all groups since history. Then he pin-pointed to the higher management that it is our group fault. I thought that it is a common understanding that this "open secret" problem is to be hidden by all, but in order to save his own arse, he push the blame to us. End result? Our group had to come back to work during our off hours... brillant... while the problem continue to persist...

Now, I can only say that "I AM NOT PREPARED". I have the time but I never maximise it to benefit in the most useful manner.

I should have a plan, even if life has no regard for my plan, at least I have a rough idea what needs to be done.

Please bless me mum, may the lost items be recovered. I had learnt greatly from this lesson, I really do. I am really down now. I only seek for peace, not recognition nor anything. Please do let me has my guard up all the time. I do not wish to be popular or respected, but only wished to be left alone in peace.

Just read up something interesting...

"...READY for PLUCKING,
UNREADY for a fight..."

LATEST UPDATE: 23rd July 2009, Thursday
~ Returned to Station to serve our punishment due to "incident no.2".
~ I performed my work dutifully.
~ I once again procasinate my intention of good will and was shot on my leg...
> Officier Lim initiated on me and said that I wont be so lucky next time,
> I apologised and replied that it is due to BAPT,
> My Madam is frustrated and walked away.