RedAsh's Blog

Another day come, marking the end of another day.

Other than the usual house duties, some body maintainence, and sending resume. Somehow I realised that life, my life, has come to a standstill. Time is still moving but my time has stopped. Somehow, for the first time in so many years, I feel so insignificant, and lost. I lied down to ponder what to do in my life in the future days ahead.

It seems to me that I, (not just me, but MANY other people) has been repeating the same thing of yesterday, over and over just to sustain the "balence". Even with goals setted, the moment of achieving the goals, only manage to let me feel a short sense of satisfaction, yet let me deals with the long sense of emptiness... I am lost... very lost indeed...

Time is truely a unique thing, I pondered about it more and more. What seems to be so significant, failures, success, achievements, problems NOW, will cease to be what it is as time pass... things keep changing... But is it the "time" or is it the human nature itself?

I only know "time" is merely a term designed by human for tracking and quantification measurement - timeline. Its presence or existance is hard to justify.

From time to time, life can be so still, so stiff, so suffocating... yet there will always be events, always people-driven, to break this form in one way or another. It can a tragic happening to your love ones, or it can be just a simple phone call from a sales personnel. These and all will always successfully create enough distraction, enough to shift the attention away from the stillness and stiffness reality of life.

Somehow this is leads to doubts as to the purpose of continual of survival....

What am I thinking?!? It seems to me I am only wasting my life, my precious time. Wasting as in not making good use or returns of my time. Time to continue to compete in the "Rat Race" creating. maintaining and sustaining social presense and value. Time to once again flip through my university guidebooks...