RedAsh's Blog

Its Sunday Mum... its been someweeks since I had a really REAL Sunday to rest myself...

Yea just got involved in a NCS Content Management System Project... CMS was from IBM, NCS merely purchase it and implements it but buggy still, esp with the "What you see is what you (NOT) get Editor ~ wysiwygEditor)

Anyway, more importantly... analysing the market (more like worrying abt the market haha) and the ULTIMATE: catching up with my CIS 318 and 320... and hunting down that "trash" in the house whoever that took $$$ from my wallet...

Still Mum, the most important recent "breakthrough" in my life happens all in one night... Its was on a Friday night ard 5am...

It drawn upon me that everyone around me all doesnt matter... for in this world, they had and will never love me (and us) like you do, loving unconditionally and with all of your heart... you make it to the point that we are your priority... Others admire, jealous, look up upon, "want" me and all others but they will never "love" me... they dun even understand the meaning of the purest love...

Irregardless, Mum, the recent event of helping Xiaoyi with Ahma's asset issue must had heighten my awareness somewhat and only then I manage to incur this "truth"...

Still, I also realised that in this world "SURVIVAL" is the key to ALL possibiities... to ALL wonders one coud ever dream of... AND the very sole and simplest form TO this survival is to consume "food" to sustain our "body system"... once that is achieve that "GROWTH" will actually happens...

HENCE mum, this means that ONE need to grow stronger and stronger so that he wont be fall prey to other being (and endup being a "food")... hence EVERYTHING around me are merely tools and food... nothing more... for they habour no "love" for me and henceforth, I need no remorse nor mercy...

This is something new for me... and I shall work towards on mending this new discovery into my life and see what change it will brings...

I need your blessing Mum, and please do bless Xiaoyi as well, for she is facing a huge mental stress caused by the "greed" of others; all of whom you loved and cared for before...

Just another Friday Mum... except today also happens to be Japan Annivesary for their Defeat... and also happens to be Da JuJu's Chinese Lunar Birthday...

I have no idea if not for ZhongKai's call that he is (taking the initiative to) celebrating it...

Zhongkai appears to be enthusiastic about it... and he is looking on the more "whole" picture of improvement as a family... which is good... his consciencousness is raising...

This initiative is a good move to bond the family... and I know he did it for his mum... at least a burden or wall is tear down nicely... and a step towards progression as a family... as a "whole"...

I know my role... I am only there to "gap" the bond together... for it is not easy and normal to gap a bond with someone you fought with... I am not noble but only to achieve something I cannot achieve myself... for I am a total failure in this aspect myself... for I never can have the chance to redeem myself for you Mum...

Kai did bring his friends to bring him more courage... for it is indeed a difficult step for him... but he succeed somewhat... and thanks to mighty intervention of Xiaoyu and Xiaoyi Zhang too... they helped to give the final push to make this whole event a final success and a real success, God bless the Good huh? Hahahaha...

Hope all is well.. as DaJuJu did indeed nid alot of encouragement... and this is although a small step... but at least it is a step into the right direction... it is nice to see people taking real effort to overcome their past scars and turn it into battle honor...

Oh well, a very meaningful night for me Mum... worth my time, effort and money (oh well, althought I am currently on a losing steak... birthday present are bday presents) Zhongkai got a nice group of friends that really support him and he is well prepared to step into the society and I can say he will do great..

Bless him and me Mum... Oh btw Mum, recieve a new project from NCS all good since I am losing money constantly on the market so far... but I will take it back what I lost from where I lose... and finally... Bless me that I can secure my position as a police offcier successfully from my recents interviews and tests.

=D