RedAsh's Blog

1st week of my 24 week training in ERS course.

Its been a rough week mum, 23 weeks to go... and it felt so long yet so short...

I seem to be the hot topic this week... everyone are like looking up to me...

It started out pretty roughly... alot of pple start out thinking I am a blur. Then they seems to change that and think I not that blur. Then they think I am strong-willed. Which they change again and think I am pretty knowledgable, then after a speech by Inche Roslan, they think I am being pretentious. After a lecture about ERS, and some speech by Inche Erwan and Inche Raya, they look up to me as being mature and serious... something that I want to train myself to be... and I am still working my way to it...

Still being respectful to me is still not enough, there still pple despising others due to herd mentality and many other causes. Irregardless, there will be times where I will be vulnerable, and I hope that someone will be there to back me up. But that is not that way things work, pple want to see a winner who is always a winner, a moment of vulnerability only cease their impression on them, and it is reduced by several magnitude.

Mum, I would like to talk about my Section, Section 9. I am Number 1, Kuddoos is Number 2, Mao Zhi Chao is Number 3, Min(haizhul) is Number 4. Kuddoos is my bed buddy and Zhi Chao is my Section Buddy. In my section, Min is the only one that protraits the most self-motivated. He has high aims, and he aimed for gold; I only aim for a silver and be fitter. Min is different from the many others, he does not aim with a mouth, he put in effort, REAL SERIOUS EFFORT.

He is one that I have confident in, and is proud to have him with. I feel like he is THE little brother I longed for; and he looks me up as an elder brother, a mentor. As such I must continuously improve myself, just not to let him down.

Kuddoos is neutral, he is physically weak, and mentally not strong too. And he tends to "blur" away once in a while, when things get tough... still kinda immature... but he is much better than Mao.

Mama, this guy Mao is a pain in the arse. A HUGE disappointment of what I expected of him. Initially I am relief that I had this guy as my section mate, as he is the only chinese. However his character is horrible. I found him talking behind my back, to Jim "Marcus actually is very dirty." Then he full-stop after I asked him to get ready... maybe I am being a control-freak. As he find me unbearable, as much as I find his behaviour unbearable ~ like sitting on others' bed (Min's bed) with his dirty pants on, his messy and dirty clothing, a total lack of discipline.

To top it off, he is like Fidarus. Firdarus approach me with a VERY friendly smile and I thought he is a Friendly dude (now I realise why people are afraid of people who approach them with TOO-Friendly-A-smile, which I used to think it is courtesy, is a mistake, a mistake I used to commit). While in reality, he is trying to DIG INTO me and get my weakness to stab me in the back. And Fidarus managed somehow, he asked me why I quit and return, I spoke that I had no choice, then he shouted "Room!" after Inche Roslan enter the room sometime. Anyway, I saw his smile/grin of satisfaction, and asked me "You are not really that discipline rite?". He returned a disappointed look when I replied "I trained 2~4 hrs a day." I had all the answer I had for him.

Mao is no less different, he tried to be ALL-friendly with me, when I know he is extremely displease with me. For instance, on Thursday night, when I asked Kuddoos to go pull chin-up, (I was invited by Kuddoos and Min) he said that "Kuddoos may not really want to go chin-up" as if I am forcing them to. It was irony when I replied that they initiated it instead... anyway, today, Mao was all friendly with me, but he kept saying stupid silly and illogical stuff and doing disrespectful acts... troubles me ALOT... definately the weakest link in my section...

Talking about weakest link, Mum, I had a talk with the weakest link in our entire cohort, Himran. He was the "outcast" of the whole cohort, and everyone wants him out. I told him that in layman term that he is viewed upon as a burden. I even give him some advice,

1> Talk to his section buddy instead of his bed buddy, Jim looks pissed when he is to tidy Himran's blanket. And I saw that he ignored Himran when he call to him later. Anyway, a bed buddy is to look out for each other, therefore the need to develop a common bond. When Jim was done with his own stuff, he went off to chit-chat, with no regards to Himran's messy bed. But cant fault him much, for it is basic stuff that each can take care of by self.
2> To check up U-tube for fitness advice
3> To have a plan on 3 top priority at Section level and rota level, other than personal level

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And Fuck me, after doing a VERY thorough clean up of my bunk, tidying my stuff, I even place my cap and my WALLET in the cupboard. TOTALLY IDIOT... looks like I am too carried away with the little, unstable "success" that I only manage to get a "sip" on...

Mum, found a way to overcome the firesuit issue, although it is not really feasible in live operation, it still allow me to sustain through the long and hot parade... at least it will "warm me up" for the live operation in firesuit.

Had a jog-and-walk-a-thon, but the first event is a tug-of-war, 32nd ERS represented the CDA and got 3rd, looks like weight matters a lot more than leg strenght. I also had the coolest warm-up in my life, aerobic boxing. 3 sets of hands, follow by 1 set of punch, and 3 sets of legs. Ending with 1 set of angle, thigh and calf stretch. After that, we did a 3.2km run, but it felt more like 2 km... and unfortunately, I had to stop twice to catch my breath; need more training no doubt, maybe the circuit training suggested by MinHaizu will help.

Things to rmb:
1> To go to POSB bank tomorrow
2> To go to ICA tomorrow
3> To finalise my CIS 318 CW02 and prepare to start on CIS 311 CW02
4> To pack my stuff and leave home by 1730

And some MANDATORY STUFF to do:

*Returning Home Backpack ~ 4 items
1> Wallet in the SCDF Plastic Bag
2> 1 set of Book-In Smart 4
3> 1 pair of Combat Boots (booking in and out)
4> 1 Cap

It is just all about respecting each other and having respect for self, in short, treat others the way you want to be treated.

There is also a talk on becoming a SO after ERS, and Rafili and Ma'Tair asked me any intention to become a SO... I really need to understand if SCDF fits me first, or it may be something that I may regret...

Never deny a man a chance to learn from his failure, it builds his experience, and if he overcomes, he becomes more confident.

Mum, thanks for the protection this week, that I can return home in one piece. Your protection is still required, yet I have more to request of you Mum; Please bless me to carry myself in proper balence, so that I wont let my guard down nor let myself loose.