RedAsh's Blog

Mum,

Its been a suddenly turn of the week for me.

In just 2 weeks, or 10 days, the trainees at 32nd ERSC had a total changed perspective for me... from an "elite" to an "outclass".

I do not know why, but I find myself having difficulties in focusing... I am uncertain if this is due to the cough syrup I am taking for these 2 weeks...

Irregardless, I had very quickly developed a lousy view on me... it seemed that I should not try to extend my speech for it sounds funny ... and it is heavily accented...

It may has to do with my little "plot" for my dorm mates to understand their impact on the dorm... it seems that by amplifying their behaviours and consolidating their bad habits into myself, had made them highly miserable...

This seemed to had a very repute on me, as they all started to view me as a slacked person... or tired down... stressed... in short, just a lousy person...

Funny, after a little wrestling session with Minhaizul, he suddenly become passive when he sees me... esp he realised that I only held him at bay, but still this will promotes his aggressiveness as time goes by...

Still, the thing is that people seems to jump at my first mistake; this is possibly due to my arrogance image, and therefore losing respect of pple... plus myself being so critical on others that they also become critical of me...

Mum, I have to become more "live and let live"... I shall become more critical of myself and less critical of others, I shall be the leading example... for I had realised that I had awoken people of their senses and now they had all surpassed me, I am no longer superior but of lesser to them... please help me mum...

Bless me mum...